15 self-date ideas for the solo woman


Last updated February 23, 2024.

Finding yourself single this Valentine’s Day?

A self-date, or a solo date as it’s also called, is as simple as it sounds. You take yourself out or treat yourself to some quality you-time. Self-dates are awesome because you are the priority. It’s a time for you to do those things you’ve always wanted to do but don’t have time for, like taking that Barre class. It’s also a time for you to be reflective as a woman, prioritize your needs, and start taking care of yourself so that you can be the woman you want and live the life you deserve.

Yours truly at Pass-A-Grille Beach, FL. Photo by Intolerable Photography.

With Valentine’s Day around the corner, you might be tempted to stay inside or think this time isn’t for you. Quite the contrary, my dear. Valentine’s Day, or any time for that matter, is the perfect time to put yourself first and develop and maintain a healthy relationship with yourself. To help you get started, here are 15 self-date ideas to get the solo woman unstuck and explore life and possibly make new friends.

15 self-date ideas for the woman going solo

1. Go on a winery or cannabis tour

Winery tours are a great solo date option if you want some luxury and picturesque landscapes and architecture for some stunning Instagram photos. Clos Pegase in Napa Valley is an estate vineyard and provides internationally-renowned tasting experiences. If cannabis is more of your thing, there are some awesome cannabis tours in the not-so-far San Francisco Bay Area. Check out Emerald Farm Tours in San Francisco or California Cannabis Tours in Oakland.

2. Take a trip to your favorite city or town. Or a new one

Some of the best solo dates involve travel and exploration in my opinion. Take a drive or quick getaway to your favorite city and treat yourself to some fresh sights. If you’re up for some adventure, be a stranger in a brand new city for a bit.

Trendy chic road traveler | 15 Self-Date Ideas For The Solo Woman | Millennial Life | Bonnibelle Chukwuneta

3. Visit a museum or art gallery

Museums and art galleries are so underrated in my opinion. Spending an afternoon at the Dali Museum, Ocean Blu, and the numerous art and culture spots in St. Petersburg was one of my favorite things to do while living in Tampa Bay. Art can be intimidating and hard to understand for some, but just go there and be. There’s no wrong way when it comes to interpretation. And you’ll leave feeling like a different person.

4. Book a massage or spa day

If there’s any self-date idea I do on the regular, it’s definitely a massage. We spend a large chunk of time hunched over laptops, slouching in chairs, and more. Nothing beats a solid massage to work out the kinks and reset your factory settings. My go-to treatment is a 90-minute hot stone massage. I’m yet to find a spa in Sacramento, but I was a regular at Massage Studio in St. Pete.

Sometimes a spa day’s just what the doctor ordered.

5. Go on a solo hike

Feeling adventurous? Try a solo hike. Hiking has numerous physical benefits like improved cardiovascular health and strengthening of the muscles. But the mental and emotional benefits are tremendous on their own, and there’s something about taking in the scenery and breathing in the fresh air. Don’t forget to pack water and snacks to stay hydrated and pumped.

6. Take yourself out for dinner and a movie

Dinner and a movie is the ultimate classic date, and it shouldn’t be any different because you’re going solo. I absolutely love taking myself out for a meal. It’s a perfect date idea and opportunity for the avid people watcher such as myself. If it’s your first time and you’re feeling a little awkward about it, go to a favorite restaurant or try sitting at a bar. It’s easier to strike up a conversation that way.

Beautiful African American woman enjoying a solo lunch | 15 Self-Date Ideas For The Solo Woman | Millennial Life | Bonnibelle Chukwuneta
Nothing should stop you from enjoying food.

7. Play local tourist in your city or town

With the hustle and bustle of today, sometimes it’s hard to find the time to appreciate your own town. Spend a day like a tourist and explore what your city has to offer. Try out new restaurants and visit different neighborhoods to create a unique experience in familiar territory.

8. Attend an open mic night or local concert

Hit up your local bar or lounge and check out an open mic night. Concerts are great, too. I’m becoming a fan of Sofar Sounds that does secret gigs and intimate events in the city. You don’t know who’s performing or where until 24 hours before the show. If you’re up for spontaneity and being adventurous, they’re definitely worth checking out.

Hipster woman at concert | 15 Self-Date Ideas For The Solo Woman | Millennial Life | Bonnibelle Chukwuneta
Moshing might be your thing. You never know.

9. Spend an evening at a comedy club

Visiting a comedy club is always a great solo date night idea. Local comedians are often performing and you might catch some bigger acts, too, especially if you’re in a bigger city. Look up the comedy clubs in your area and look for a calendar or Events page to find a show worth checking out.

10. Grab drinks at your favorite cocktail bar or lounge

Going to the bar solo is one of the most intimidating things a woman can do, but that’s also exactly why you should do it. It’s that exhilarating in return. There’s something about holding your own and having a moment to yourself with your drink the way you want to. If you’re nervous and it’s your first time, bring a prop like a journal or a book to keep you occupied. If you’re an extrovert, this is a great time to mingle.

Boho woman at the bar | 15 Self-Date Ideas For The Solo Woman | Millennial Life | Bonnibelle Chukwuneta
If you’re looking for a conversation, try the bartender.

11. Spend a morning at your favorite pastry shop or café

You’re always on the go during the workweek. You probably slam a cup or five of your favorite coffee and scarf down breakfast (that’s if you’ve got any at all). Slow down and be intentional one morning. Savor a sweet buttery pastry and slowly sip and enjoy that Chai Latte. Bring the Parisian café to you.

12. Take a fitness or craft class

Taking a new class is a great way to treat yourself. You teach yourself something new and discover new talents and even passions along the way. It’s a great way to meet new friends too. An easy way to check out a variety of classes near you is with Groupon. MeetUp has classes and events worth trying as well.

Black woman in yoga class | 15 Self-Date Ideas For The Solo Woman | Millennial Life | Bonnibelle Chukwuneta

13. Make yourself a fancy meal

Just like having dinner and a movie, preparing a fancy meal shouldn’t be reserved for the coupled either. One of my favorite things to do for a self-date is make whatever it is my heart desires. Sometimes, that can be something as special as this Thai fried rice. It can also mean a dessert as easy as this chocolate mug cake and a scoop or three of vanilla ice cream as I watch Mad Men re-runs.

14. Get handcrafted candles and flowers from your local farmer’s market

Going on a self-date means treating yourself as special as you would someone else. You’re totally worth spoiling. Farmers’ markets are a great spot to find unique handcrafted gifts. Buy yourself flowers and get specially made candles to brighten your day and leave your living space feeling fresh and peaceful.

Beautiful woman with flowers | 15 Self-Date Ideas For The Solo Woman | Millennial Life | Bonnibelle Chukwuneta
Treat yourself to some self-care.

15. Give back to the community

A great way to help yourself and feel better as a human being is by helping others. I love to spend a day decluttering my living space and donating my items to the local Goodwill, Salvation Army, or even local church. You can also spend a day at a soup kitchen or look for volunteer opportunities with churches or in the community to give back.

Bonus: celebrate Galentine’s Day

Heard of it? Celebrated on February 13, Galentine’s Day is a day to cherish your gal pals and show how much you appreciate them. Learn more about it in my blog post here and browse some Galentine’s Day gift ideas for you or some amazing ladies you know.

Happy Brazilian woman | 15 Self-Date Ideas For The Solo Woman | Millennial Life | Bonnibelle Chukwuneta
Don’t worry, be happy.

Don’t let not having a partner stop you from living out an amazing story. You’ve always been awesome. So walk the walk and keep that crown up.

Need some self-care ideas? Check out 27 Winter-Inspired Self-Care Ideas To Get You Through The Cold Months.

15 Self-Date Ideas For The Solo Woman | Millennial Life | Bonnibelle Chukwuneta
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